Campaign of the Month: November 2014

Shadowrun - The Rat's Nest

Stuffer Shag

Nebraska, Heroine!

Jet and me, we planned going crack some washing center. It’s in Auburn and I know from a John that they store pay sticks in a safe there. Today’s the 15th and it’s Sunday. So tonight they’re closed and the paychecks are already there for eight men for monday morning.

Halve a gran each! That’s 4 gran! We’re be fucking awesome rich.

We had to wait, so we made quick trip to Monroe to buy stuff at the local Stuffer Shack. I was already stuffing my pockets full of stuff, that idiot of clerk wasn’t watching, when two warthogs came in. “Freeze!”, “Holdup!”, all that shit from the flicks.

I was just nicking Koko-Schoc surrogate sweets, tea and soykaf concentrate, when BLAMBLAM shotgun sound, BLAM. Screaming and panic and shit. Ran down lane 13 to 14 to get away from heat, grabbed a few packets of Aztexmex ultra SPICE on the way. Something hit the front facade and crashed through the window, banged somewhere into line one or fuck. WTF! Likely bike or so. Just like in “The All-New Ultimate Bike Race Ninja Street Duel”! Which I spend my last Nuyen just a minute ago to play a round. Was fragged, whatever. Game sucks. Swiped one of’em Smoozies at E after that, then started my pick up-round.

I mean you can’t leave it, can you? If they put it everywhere you can’t leave it! It’s violence to show it! I’m hungry! But wasn’t looking when running cornerwise. Bumped into fucking shopping cart. Screaming boy inside, mother on all four coming behind. It bumped me to the ground. But I’m a warrior, so I was up in a second. Ninjawise! Wheel cart fell over and the annoying brat inside started screaming even louder.

Bitch of mother tried to slap me, but I ducked and ran back into row fourteen. Fuck! Bitchslap! She was fast! Swallowed the pain, warrior princess I am, went back, BLAMBLAM shotgun. Stuff flying through the air, fighting everywhere. End of row 14, saw Jet, herowise taken that BLAM from shotgun. That warthog just fired through the whole stuff. Just blind. Like Diz DayStroya in last Urban Brawl when he sixed five with his shotgun!

Jet’s on his feet, to fight the Orkhog, guy’s pointing blank to his head and CLICK! Ha! No ammo or fuck. Turned around, bitch after me. Mad old hags are worse than a fucking Ork, so I grabbed my bike chain and attacked!

Jet knifed him like mad, but Ork just tanked like, like, like TANK. So I swung all powerful deathblow but he tanked me too. Hit again and again! Knifing went bad for Jet, eating butt of shotgun from Ork, toothfrag!, so I improvised, swung the chain CHAINaround Orks legs! Hit it! Searching for the Texmex spice to spice ’im in the eyes. He fell – on me! I brought him DOWN!!! DOOOOOWN!!!!!!

Gosh! Ork’s heavy! “Get sucker off me!” He flatten me more than natural for me and struggling, Jet on his back, knifing. “Get ’im off!” But Ork fighting back, trying to get off Jet, search for spice failed, but found my knife, italian switchblade snapped and started to knife him too. “Get ’im ouufff!…"

Fucking! Armor! Ork! Just didn’t hit asshole for nothing! But Jet hit me, lucky on my armor vest, so I tanked, like Tank Girl! Fuck! Fuck! FUUUU, knifed him like mad, then HIT blood splashing all ’round! Coool! I hit him! But was not Ork. Was Jet. Fuuuuck! Two on me. Okay, I take two guys but not when so HEAVY! UNFAIR! SCREAM! MESS!BLOOOOOD BLOOD! Tried hard but Orkhog weights sixteen TONS!

Couldn’t breathe, but then Fog’s face, no idea where Fog came from but I’m happy. Jet total blood splashing around like in gore horror splash SPLUTTER
DOOOOUSHE, so arm ripped in pieces and that, so splat! splat! splat! Like heart pumping shit out. I caught breath, running to Row 6. Know First Aid’s there and fresh needles and vitamin products like vitamin-c powder you need for shot up, like heating Bliss up in a spoon, you need vitamin C for that or it’s not solving. They have it in the same part of Stuffer Shack! Isn’t that cooool?!

Grabbed Kit and ran back to Jet, all blood spritz everywhere! Totally cool. But think Jet wasn’t happy cause all that red stuff was better for him inside. I fixed him that elastics band, I got also in row six around the arm. And then, really love it, saw his vein swell. Like ‘give it to me’ NEEDLEand I got out the needle from Medkit and pinned it in. Oh! So wonderful veins! Virgin veins. Ya know, I’ve seen fucked up veins, but his were soooo clean. Sexy. I think I shag him again right after this. It wasn’t that bad last time. It’s all like in that book of Babsie! I can’t german, but the pictures were so cooooool!

Put on all fuck on Medkit stuff and YAY blood started dripping then stopped. Awesome! I saved my first life! AWWWWWESOME! Okay. I wasted it to start with but he stabbed me too, so I guess I saved his ass twice. Soooo awesome! I kicked that warthog in the nuts. He groaned. I kicked another time. Nobody was looking. And to make it perfect a third. No armor this time. You can feal it, when it breaks. Icky! Ballbreaker! Yay!

Got my chains back and they said we can steal things. No shit!? Why don’t they start saying this to begin with?! This is a really nice shop. Will get back later. I’ll tell the girls. Don’t need to pay anything. N-E-V-E-R!!!!!! They must be so fucking RICH here.BLOOOOOD

Fog said Jet will be okay. Stanley arrived with Zach, we loaded everything into his ride, that cooool red one that he allowed me to drive. And he didn’t care about all the blood and icky stuff on Fog and Jet that was icking the seats everywhere. Then we arrived at the clinic and it started to get boring again. So booooring since I’m off Bliss, really. But this was just a cool thing to do. Stopped thinking about dope for halve an hour or so. Adrenaline rush ’n that!

Nicked halve the shop. We left Jet in the Clinic. The others said, we do the hit on that washing center without him. He’s just connected to us with Matrix. Like in those shadowrunning Flicks, where they hack off the heads of suits and shit. And burn down corporate enclaves and kill S.W.A.T Teams an’ that.

I got one ‘o those SimRigs and gone full Gargoyle with that. Everything I see, feel, hear, fuck will be on stream for everyone. Awwwwsome! And I got all those fuckin’ awesome spy tools they get in the movies too! Maglock hackers and Sequence suckers and Cardread fuck yous an’ shit. Like I’m really important, which I am! But okay, I’m no real shadowrunner, but after this, I am.

And I get rich. Hope they ain’t gonna shoot me in the face. Can’t get a face frag off with a gloss lipstick, don’t you?

Bodycount! 1: Old Hag 2: Ennoying Brat 3: Ugly Ork 4: Jet 5: Lot’s of Stuff 6: That fucking Ninja from the Game!!! 7: Zachs Car! 8+9: The fucking BALLS of that Ork!


And two guys lying around, that must be done by Fog. Nevermind. He’s just a dude.



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